I stole this from @ESPN_theOcho:
9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u) solve for i
My mom raised me to be a gentleman so when I was in elementary school I always had to buy candy & give cards to every girl in class (yes, even the ugly ones). I fault her for making me the young man that I am today...romantic as a mug #90stweet. I was rarely in a relationship around V-Day, but even though I was happily single I ended up getting gifts for female friends. I remember my senior year in High School I had a lady friend (I claimed her as "wifey" but since I thought I was going out of state for college I didn't want to commit and have to break up because I don't eff with that long distance stuff) that I felt obliged to get something for so I got her a lil sumn sumn. On top of the nice lil gift I got her, I made sure I filled out the form at lunch to send her a little valentines day carnation. While I was filling it out, one of the chicks monitoring the forms said, "Send me a carnation & I'll send you one too." Like a sucka I said, "ok." (That was an extra dollar by the way) I also remembered, I can't leave out my Jr year Valentine so I sent her one too since we were cool and whatnot.
So V-Day comes & I'm sitting in the band room (yeah I played the trumpet) and the carnations come in. I'm thinking, since I sent out three I'll get three back right? WRONG!!! Guess how many I got.....ZERO!!! To make it worse, my "wifey" asked me if I wanted one of her 8 carnations. Of course, I declined.
After that I asked Miss Reciprocity aka Miss You give me one I'll give you one, what happened to my carnation. She responded, "Oh, my bad I forgot...you want some of my V-Day Candy?" I declined even though I wanted to heal my wounds with little milk chocolate balls.
Moral to this story: Women are extremely selfish on Valentines Day & hopefully you're blessed enough to find one that is only excessively selfish on one or two days out the year. Oh, and make sure you remind your lady that March 14th is Steak & Blowjob day. You reap what you sow.
The answer:
hilar!
ReplyDeleteExcept I am offended. You know why. Making a mockery of #reciprocity?! #FaSerious?! I have had a Valentine every year from the time I was 12 until I was 19, even after that I continued to celebrate Valentine's Day with the gal pals. And before that with Family. Obviously, all the gifts weren't as fabulous as steak and a blow job, but I gave some pretty dope gifts. Candy, nerf balls, homemade cards. Later, uhm, more tangible gifts. Still made homemade cards though. One year I cut out female body parts of magazines "for when we are away" another year I cut out flames "You make me HOT!" and boxers with naughty suggestive sayings and pictures. Anyway, I always assumed that Valentine's Day was a mutually celebrated Holiday by every gender. I guess I made an ass out of you and me. ;-( I guess there are exceptions to every rule, but whatev.
Sincerely,
Offended REAL Believer of Reciprocity
My mom always made sure to give me a V-Day gift and I got gifts from my lady last year so I do believe it's for both sexes. I know people get busy with in their fast paced lives so I take the memory of St. Valentine to be a time that we remember the ones we love. Not just significant others, but all the people we love. Often times when I give gifts I never expect anything in return besides to make someone happy, but ol girl did say she would give me a carnation so I expected one from her.
ReplyDeleteTo be completely honest Steak & BJ Day will most likely turn into Steaks & 69 Day for me. #jussayin
Reciprocity is very important, we just have to make sure the other person is on the same page.